


Can't Have This

by WithoutBringingMeDreams



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: 1x09 gap filler, Ficlet, M/M, Seriously unedited, written before the finale but I forgot to post here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 19:20:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8908900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WithoutBringingMeDreams/pseuds/WithoutBringingMeDreams
Summary: 1x09 gap filler/missing scene ficlet





	

Phillip squeezes his fingers into fists around the edge of the chair and fights to keep the building tears from creating that awful warble in his voice. This isn’t how their reunion was supposed to go. In his dreams, there was only epic kissing and hand-in-hand walks into the sunset, leaving all the rest of this bullshit behind.

“She’s gonna tell everyone!”

Instead, they’re hiding out from a killer and Lukas is spiraling into his own personal abyss of paranoia.

_Patience. Lukas needs chill and patience._

“No, she said that she won’t.”

“Yes, she will.”

Why can’t they just be in each other’s arms right now? Why does every fucking thing he ever touch get more and more tangled until it collapses under its own weight into a pile of dust?

“No…” _Stay chill…_

“She will. She’s lying.”

 _Fuck it._ What had staying chill ever gotten him?

“No, no! No, Lukas the only one who isn’t cool with this is you. And your dad…I don’t know what his deal is, but he’ll get over it, too.”

His outburst stops Lukas’ babbling, which is something, but now Lukas’ eyebrows are sinking and his lips are twitching, and shit, actual tears are trailing down his cheeks.

Lukas hates to cry. The most Phillip has ever witnessed is a liquidy shine in his eyes, a slight shake to his voice, some sniffling and some face rubbing. But actual crying? To Lukas, that was only for pussies.

So seeing it now, hearing the slight whimper as Lukas inhales and lets more tears loose… it wipes away all the anger and the self-pity and leaves every inch of Phillip with the need to help, to fix, to heal with the only thing he has to offer—his love.

It’s never worked before, but somehow, he still has the strength to keep trying.

He lurches out of his chair and wraps his arms around Lukas. “Hey, shh, shh. It’s okay.” He runs his fingers through Lukas’ hair. It’s greasy and a little matted, but that’s to be expected after the days he’s spent lying comatose in a hospital bed.

Lukas’ arms gradually come up to encircle him, and he hides his wet face in the crook of Philip's neck. “I’m s-sorry. I’m sorry. I d-don’t know why I’m crying right now. I’m sorry. I’m just so tired and…and I’m s-sorry.”

“It’s okay, really.” He kisses the top of Lukas’ head. “It’s probably just all the meds. And you got shot, remember? That’s kind of a big fucking deal. It’s a big fucking deal that you’re still here, w-with me.”

Shit, there went his own tears, trying to steal what little strength his voice ever had.

Lukas latches on tighter at his words, but doesn’t stop crying. “The m-meds? You th-think that’s it?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” Phillip pulls back to smooth away the moisture from Lukas’ cheeks. “And you’ve got to be exhausted. C’mon, let’s get you lying down.”

Lukas doesn’t resist as he pulls him up, then helps him limp over to a cot. He inhales sharply and his face contorts in pain while he lies down.

At least that puts an end to the stream of tears.

“Get some rest, okay?” Phillip murmurs, stroking Lukas’ arm gently. “I’ll watch over you, make sure nothing happens.”

“Mm,” Lukas replies, eyes already closed.

Phillip pulls up a chair to watch him sleep for as long as possible. Lukas’ breaths grow more even, with the slightest of snores when he exhales.

But suddenly he reaches out and grabs Phillip’s hand. “Thank you, Phillip,” he whispers, before falling back asleep.

Phillip swallows hard and sets his jaw. Whatever fucked up disaster strikes them next, he _can’t_ let it win. He has to keep this. This is all that matters. Lukas, holding his hand. Them _together._

_You can’t have this one, Life. You hear me? You can’t have this one._

**Author's Note:**

> withoutbringingmedreams on tumblr :)


End file.
